I was in a relationship that I considered to be 7 years of a living "Hell"- with a man who would build me up just to tear me down. Pick on every flaw.. and even if it wasn't a flaw, he made it a flaw. He took my youth, corrupted our children, diminished my savings and account, made me feel as if I wasn't good enough for anyone or anything. Then there was the vicious cycle of he would get better for a short period, then back to the same old abuse, obsessiveness, negligence, and childish ways over and over. False promises and even small glimmers of false hope was given by him every time. But it never changed.
If you or someone you know is going through the hardship of a hurtful, or abusive relationship, this Love Should Not Hurt can be a good companion and resource to help get through it.
Erin Sluka has written something that is near to my heart. While our stories are quite different, there are so many ways I can relate.
Just like the Author, all my friends and family saw the "spell" I was under-- the spell of blind co-dependence. I would distance myself and make excuses because of being embarrassed, and uncertain as to if or when I would leave... and then there was always this small delusional hope that he would get better. Just like Erinn, I knew it was wrong, but i was scared to leave.
In the book Erin states: "you have to find your method of escape." My method of escape was calling all family to come to my house and then telling him that my family wouldn't leave until he did. But before finding the method of escape, I had to work on something important... I had to work on bettering, educating, and applying myself which made me realize something about myself--I finally figured it out 7 yrs later... I AM good enough, I AM smart, I AM capable, and the only one holding me back was this FOOL who was NOT capable; was NOT smart; was NOT good enough; and he wasn't ever going to change if he hadn't changed already within the past 7 yrs. To this day (12 yrs later) he still hasn't changed... as a matter of fact, he has gotten worse putting someone else through the same thing.
Like Erinn- I'm so glad I left him, my life has only gotten better ever since I became secure within myself and left... My only regret is not leaving him sooner. This book was a good reminder of how far I've come.
For anyone who is going through a hurtful or abusive relationship - It's time for YOU to realize that YOU ARE good enough, YOU ARE capable, YOU ARE smart!
Educate yourself; read this book; seek information and help from as many resources as you can get your hands on. YOU ARE strong, and YOU CAN do it!!
To the Author: Thanks for sharing your story to help and empower women everywhere! You rock!