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Ages 3 - 6

  1. When your child throws a tantrum in the middle of the store because she isn't getting what she wants, tell her to stop, then beg her to stop, and keep begging her to stop for the next 15 minutes. Then ultimately give her what she wants so people will quit staring.

  2. When your child acts out in a public place, issue a dozen threats that you know you're not going to follow through with.

  3. When someone brings your attention to your child's bad behavior, make excuses for your child or act as if it never happened.

  4. When your child refuses to do what she's told, send her to her room so she can play with all her new toys you just bought, (so she'll leave you alone) and when she whines 5 minutes later to come out, let her out and give her all kinds of terms and conditions for coming out of her room, that you know you aren't going to follow through with.

  5. Make sure you tell your child how much better whe is than everyone else, so she can feel like everyone is beneath gher.

  6. When your child says something inappropiate over and over again, just tell her "that's not nice" each and every time.

Ages 7-10

  1. When your child destroys last years birthday present, make sure you buy him an even better one this year, so he can destroy that one too.

  2. If your child breaks something because he was being carless and negligent and blatantly disregarding other people's property, make sure that you excuse him because he said it was an "accident".

  3. When your child says that's not fair that Johnny has a new video game, make damn good and sure your child gets one too.

  4. When your child is get's a bad grade in school, make sure that you blame it on the teacher (because your kid is smart).

  5. When your child loses a game, make sure you make your child feel better by telling him that he should have won and that the other team cheated.

  6. When your child refuses to clean up his mess, make sure to keep begging him until your blue in the face.

  7. When your child does a rush job on clean up, and leaves half of the dishes dirty, tell him what a good job he did so he knows what a "good job" is when he becomes an adult.

  8. Actually, don't even have your child do chores at all, because that would be child abuse.

  9. When your child doesn't have any friends (because you told him how much better he was than everyone else), pay kids to be his friend, with trips to the amusement park, bowling alley, movies, and anything else their little hearts desire.

Ages 11-14

  1. Go ahead and let your child hang out with his friends right after he just disrespected you. Or better yet, let your child disrespect you in front of his friends.

  2. When your child calls someone a b*tch, make sure you tell the person that your child is "just playing around".

  3. When your child asks for money, give it to him.

  4. When your child backtalks, tell him to stop backtalking, while he continues to backtalk.

  5. When you finally do tell your child he's grounded, make sure that you forget to take his cell phone so that he can text friends, get on facebook, and play games. Then when you see him on his phone, forget any of it ever happened because you know that if you take his phone, there's going to be a fight.

  6. When your child tells you he hates you and that you're the worst parent ever, tell them your sorry and that you'll try better next time.

  7. When your child lashes out at you on Christmas because you didn't buy him a new bike, make sure you buy him a bike AND a hover board at birthday time.

  8. Speaking of Christmas, make sure your child makes out a Christmas list, because children should be telling you what to buy them, instead of thankfully reciving anything that someone would go out of their way to give them.

  9. When your teen takes advantage of or mistreats others, make sure you tell him not to do that again, and when he does it again, tell him not to do it again, and when he does it again... well, you know...



Ages 16-18

  1. Buy your child's first car when he's 16, but not just any car, it must be a new one, so he can grow up feeling like other people are supposed to just hand him nice things. When he wrecks the car from doing parking lot stunts, make excuses for your child and tell him that it's the person who constructed the parking lot's fault.

  2. When your child is 18, don't stop with paying for him to get into the best college, you must buy all his food, cook for him, do his laundry, and take him shopping, so he can have time to party, because working and going to school is not fair. Continue doing this into his early 20s when he comes back to live at home with you, because nobody will hire entitled kids who have bad college GPAs and no job experience. Oh yeah, and don't forget to give them your credit card for spending money.

  3. When your child gets his first job and calls off within the first week, make sure you call in for him and tell them "how sick" your child is.

  4. When your child is wrong, just keep sweeping it under the rug, until he turns into a monster. Then send him to a retreat for meditation and relaxation because life is stressful.

  5. Continue doing everything you've done for your child(ren) throughout their whole life, because it's too late now, you've officially raised lazy, arrogant, spoiled, unsuccessful, all around pain in the ass that no one else want's to deal with.

  6. ​Now that your child is an adult, pretend what a great parent you were for taking the easy way out, and just doing everything for your child, instead teaching them, or dealing with conflict, upset kids, and having to face the fact that you created a monster.


How to Raise Your Child to be a Lazy, Spoiled, Arrogant, & Unsuccessful Adult that No One Else Can Stand

So long as you don't have to deal with it for now

Step-by-step instructions to avoid conflict and ensure your child's temporary happiness for each stage of his/her life.

Look. We get it. Discipline is hard.


The last thing we want is for our child to hate us. But if parents don't do something about a child's unruly behavior in their early stages, this is exactly what will happen.

It will only be 8 years until a ten year old child is one of the adults running this world.


There's a LOT to learn in those 8 short years (2,950 days) before adulthood.

Each day that passes, is one day less that we have to teach our children important lessons and life-skills before they reach adulthood. In order for those skills to sink in, they must be repeated, but who has time for that?

Later never comes for busy parents, and before they know it, their child ends up being the kind of person they never intended for him/her to be.

If you are a parent that finds discipline too difficult to handle and your children are back-talking, refusing to do chores, and expecting everything handed to them, the time to act is now!

If you're ready to stop bad behavior, take back control, and ensure our child's success with MUCH LESS EFFORT, go to

Your kids will thank you for it NOW and later.

Parenting OMG!

Parenting OMG!

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